Thursday, 3 July 2008

Whooosh it's The Matrix!

'cept in the place of high powered weaponery and the like it's [drumroll]

Budget airline tickets and car insurance.

The plot shittens.

And subbing for Neo and Morpheus it's one of those fuckfaced couples that can only be the result of the most odious focus groups. You can literally pick apart the brainstorm...the sweaty stench of the Soft Thinking Space as the runner clears up the Perrier and uneaten fruit.

"We need to fly to Barcelona"

but it's not, is it? it's "WenneedaflydaBarcelouna"

which acts as sole catalyst in turning a daft idea that's almost endearingly crap and transparently patched together into something truly malevolent.
The execrable Mid-Atlantic accent actually manages to sound put’s as if he realizes he sounds like a cock but well, it's take 700 and he’s only got a dozen or so WeneedtoflytoBarcelona’s in him before he feels so sick with himself and society that he’s driven to assault the homeless or torture cats.

And in the follow up…of course they drive a New Mini don’t they.

I want to be their travel agent and plead partial deafness as I pack them off to Basra


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