Tuesday, 1 July 2008
Wrigleys Extra "Sardines" ad
YES so this is what did it.
"An Extra Event" proclaims a small ad in a newspaper and inevitably, a thousand-strong mob of CrosssecshunO'Ciiiety cram into an empty room to stand millimetres away from each other. They come from every strata - there's a studenty bellend (with terrible posture), an anachronistic Just For Men beard gel model, a dead-eyed ursine sex offender, senile game show host doing the "Is this Heaven!?"- face, strangely attractive spacehopper-eyed indie girl and the flaky cunt who's too self-consciously laid back to even put a hood up or down. He turns up tardy.
The soundtrack is 'The more we get together' by The Storytellers - The last word in redundant wetness...you can't really knock them that hard - it's a generic cover that is probably keeping the unsigned band in enough gum to mask any hint of Satan's semen or shit from the shitty-shit-shit-eating grin he sounds like he's singing through. it's more that the package as a whole is so knuckles-of-both-hands-chewingly mawkish that when you see the room packed to cuntpacity at the end, you yearn for the the walls to start getting closer in what would truly be the swiftest smugwipe in history.